From Steve Bauer and by Steve. (Jan 18th, 2009)

This post is on the power of detachment.

I don’t know exactly why this memory came to me today, but I felt compelled to share it with you on the blog. As you know if you’ve been reading me for a while, I seldom write about self-help when it doesn’t relate directly to learning and mastering NLP.

This will be one of those posts.

And what it covers is very, very important.

Many spiritual traditions, chiefly the eastern ones, discuss the power of detachment and how it frees us from stress and tension.

All of them teach the “let it go” philosophy, critical to enable us to get through the bad times.

I’ve experienced that few people ever learn detachment, and even fewer master it.

As a modeler, I’ve always been interested in the “how” of things. Naturally, I got interested in detachment a few years ago and eventually mastered it. Funny thing is, it happened in the most unexpected of ways.

The paradoxical nature of what you’re about to learn now gives us clues on how to resolve apparently inextricable problems.

I’d always heard the expression “This too shall pass…” in many situations. All these situations had one thing in common: they were all bad situations that anyone would naturally want to bring to its end as quickly as possible.

But one day, something weird happened. In the middle of a party, laughing with all my friends, having a complete blast of a time, this little voice popped into my mind that said: “This too shall pass…”

In that instant, a smile came to my face and I mastered detachment.

Because it’s easy to think “this too shall pass…” when times are bad. I wouldn’t say it’s tougher, but it’s definitely less obvious to think that when times are great. And yet, those are the only times when you can actually master detachment.

Why?

Because when you hold on to what’s good, you have to hold on to what’s bad. Letting go means letting go. No matter what it is you let go. If you learn how to let go of the good times, you’ll have an easy time letting go of the bad times.

We learn this weird notion that we have to chase the good times and avoid the bad times.

Pause and consider this: it makes no sense at all.

Quit chasing anything. Just let it come to you.

Quit avoiding anything. It’ll get you anyway. Brazilians have an expression that says: “Se correr o bicho pega, se ficar o bicho come.” (If you run the beast will catch you, if you stay the beast will eat you.) It’s true.

The key to detachment is to stay still and observe. Nothing should happen. Nothing shouldn’t happen.

The secret to dealing with the bad times is not caring about the good ones either. In the instant you can feel that in your bones, you master detachment and conquer your freedom.

So the next time you’re having the time of your life, where you’re exalted by how wonderful life is and feel happiness in every cell of your system, my voice will come into your experience and you’ll hear me say: “This too shall pass…”

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