“You gotta remember in the entire history of the universe…you’re the only ‘you’ that has ever existed and ever will exist. There’s nobody in existence who is you, and no one can ever see the world the way you see it and can tell the rest of us how it looks. And it might be so different and so beautiful that it changes everything.”

The words are comics writer Grant Morrison's. I came across them yesterday and they inspired the blog piece I wrote that day.

Today I got a text from a friend whose mood was lifted by reading the blog. And that made me feel good too, knowing that I'd cheered up someone who was down.

What have you done that's turned out to make someone feel better? And what have others done that's worked for you? I'm less interested in intentional uses of NLP here than in the random acts of kindness that we come across, or offer, some days.

This evening I met a mature philosophy student, Sikh by birth and exploring about six spiritual paths at the same time, varying from Tantrism which urges him to indulge in sensual pleasures, and Gnosticism which is all about renouncing them.

Unsurprisingly, he's confused in the midst of all this. He believes he's not ready for the world of work, and is tempted to go to India to study with a guru. His current lifestyle is enabled by his ability to get funding for his studies, and he's adept at living on a low income.

Obviously, I'm making value judgements about this guy, and I don't pretend otherwise. To me, he seemed more lost than anyone I've met in a long time, articulate and introspective but unable to come to a conclusion about anything.

Many NLP approaches are based around making people feel good to make decisions, but this guy is suspicious of good feelings and has a seemingly endless ability to prevaricate. I'm not drawn to intervening in his situation since it's none of my business, though I would if he asked me to.

How do you go about working with someone who isn't prepared to use feeling good as the foundation for making choices? Similarly, depending on what model you prefer, he was neither congruent nor centred, and sees no reason to be so -- what do you do in such a case?

:) My name is Mike and i have taken my first step into the exciting world of NLP. I feel i have waited so long, too long in fact to get started, i have done an introduction course to NLP just a few days ago. I have however been interested in Mindset Change and action for a very long time it is only now however that i have decided that this is what i want to incorporate into my life, i have certain paradigms of thinking that need to change and i am going all out now.

I am looking forward to communicating with anybody who is interested in communicating with me, i look forward to hearing from you,

best wishes,
mike

My filters on this subject come from long association with Rolfers, particularly the old school who were directly trained by Dr. (yup a real PhD) Ida Rolf in the 1960s and 1970s... "new school" Rolfing IMHO is a much watered down, softened up version that isn't the real deal as envisioned by Dr. Rolf.... but, as always, the consumer dictates the direction the product must take...

Rolfing/Structural Integration, especially when combined with other proprioceptive awareness modalities like the Alexander Technique do produce astounding changes in bodily consciousness:

The issue is that when you (the trainer that is) sets up sponge states, high suggestility frames, unconscious downloads, however you conceptualize it, you also have a roomful of people who are modelling your personal proprioceptive/kinesthetic levels of awareness and integration... there is a well known trainer, who shall remain nameless, who has given me a profound bodily sensation of having asthma, purely from his respiratory usage.... please, trainers, get all the hard core bodywork you possibly can before inducing YOUR states in your students...

Fine example of how an explanation of a complex process that drove us to distraction in our undergrad. days can be condensed into a few minutes of clarity that has good sticking power in memory... plus you can now show your kids exactly how the flu catches them...:applause:

Flu Attack! How A Virus Invades Your Body : NPR

What is the truth? Sorry if my title made you think I know something. On the other hand, I want to know. On X Factor they said he was involved with NLP and he nodded but in his book he said otherwise. I heard he was Richard Bandler's student? What's the truth?

Hi All

I am currently reading Hypnosis for Inner Conflict Resolution by Roy Hunter.

I have never really done much parts work, other than the occasional Visual Squash or 6-step Reframe, but I am currently investigating methods and approaches that I don't use in order to broaden my range.

In Hunter's version of parts therapy, you talk full on to the part in a way that seems to dissociate it fully from the clients identity, using language such as:

"John (client) is willing to listen to whatever you (part) have to say"

For me this is whole frame is like "you have another person inside you who is not you".

Hunter also has the part name itself. The name may be 'happy' or 'cautious' but it also may be 'Mike' or 'John'.

Now, I have to say that I feel quite uncomfortable with all this. BUT, it has got me wondering if this kind of extreme dissociation of parts from identity can be useful in some contexts, and if so, what contexts?

It doesn't strike me as a particularly healthy solution long term, but I am wondering if it could fit in as a step towards a more 'wholesome' (interesting word choice) solution.

If you have a view on this, I would love to hear it. Here's my question again:

Can 'extreme dissociation' of parts from identity be useful in some contexts, and if so, what contexts?

Any takers?

All the very best

James

I want to enjoy socializing, relating, connecting with others without them relating back to me, or validating me, giving me friendship, or whatever else that I'd enjoy apart from the relationship itself.

Hi, Ive just started teaching NLP and Ericksonian hypnosis and its good to be amongst like minded people who have a passion for these topics.

On 30.1.10 I am teaching a one day course with Greenwich Community College in South East London, Eltham SE9 which will weave masterful NLP protocols with Ericksonian hypnotic language patterns, cost £40, let me know what you think and please do pass it on.

Best regards Tim:)




T

Some really interesting stuff has emerged on this forum of late that has definately got my thinking... Well... thinking...

Talk about 'Conscious/unconscious' and being 'centered' etc...

Isn't it all about semantics?

I mean Bufo posted a video that hit the nail for me but another poster wanted to know what in relation the video had to being centered... ...

I never seemed to gel with the word trance... In my mind trance was some far out experience that went beyond the realms of normal everyday experience... It limited my thinking in so much as when I was doing (NLP) excercises I often said to myself "this is not trance"...

Then I tried on "altered state of consciousness" and BANG I noticed that my consciousness was constantly altered... (A trance in some minds)... Mostly missed by the blink of an eye !

Eric mentioned 'centered' and I 'tried it on'... It fits very well with me in so much as when it came to 'unconscious signals' I couldn't do them... But I was doing them. I had a sense that I couldn't do them... See the paradox here?

I kept thinking centered doesn't do it for me like grounded does... But you know what; It did... Because if i'm centered I don't need to be concerned about whether or not my conscious mind is detecting my unconscious signals... It's just happening, ongoing, a process...

I then thought if someone can teach me what centered means to them. Maybe i'll update my thoughts and it'll mean something different to me. Therefore I can appreciate the words that are being used to create the right/wrong concept...

So I try words on and sometimes they fit like a glove... Sometimes they don't... Doesn't stop me appreciating that they mean so many different things to different people.

Question is: What is the difference that makes a difference... Then give it a go...

That's what was being asked before wasn't it... And... How? now we have 1000's of people asking the same questions can we break through the barriers of language knowing that... (in my map of the world)...

It's VITAL...

So if someone says "this is just bollocks"... Pay attention, try it on, and see if it fits. If it doesn't then put it to the back of your wardrobe... But if it does then hey... you've found somethin new to wear... and...

you've had a breakthru!

Wayne

Hi

I started my NLP training ten years ago on Practitioner with Dr Susi Strang in North Yorks and by 2004 had been dismantled and reconstructed during Trainers Training held by Wyatt Woodsmall.

Some brilliant times and learnings and very tough too! There is no doubt that it changed my life, sorry to sound evangelical but it truly did and probably for the first time in my life I began to live consciously and be aware of what I was creating in thought, word and deed!

I used these teachings and my own growth to transform from Sales Director in Blue Chip corporations to Change Management Consultant - helping smaller companies change their culture and working with individuals to help them realise their potential and clear their blocks to success.

I loved the work and continued to loathe the array of company politics that seemingly thrives in every organisation ... so a year ago I decided to walk my talk and start out on my own.

I use a lot of other tools but NLP is the main-stay and I am delighted to find a forum for other NLP-ers.

What is the latest on the NLP front? I have been so busy doing it I hae lost the thread and would love to be brought up to date!

Thanks for reading and I look forward to catching you soon.

Mcihelle

Awesome.... Pranav has turned NLP upside down and inside out... if this is the future.... our brains are coming out of their containers and are being spread like peanut butter across the outer world... breathtaking in its' implications..

these are good basic instructional videos that will clarify exactly what it is that the Vestibulart System is doing... quietly, discreetly... keeping it all together for you, 24 hours a day....

Centering and NLP

In the summer I travelled to london for Eric Robbie's course about sensory acuity (see - Advanced Sensory Acuity Weekend with Eric Robbie | Chris Morris Events). I learnt so much from the experience and in particular I gained a new insight into centering and how useful and important it is to be centered.

As we worked outside in the lovely sunny bright and scented flower gardens on the exercises that Eric set us it soon became crystal clear that being centering altered our sensory acuity. We experienced that we all became much more aware when we were centered and our ability to do certain things was markedly improved. We helped each other become centered which in itself I found really useful as each person required a slightly different adjustment to place them in a centered position (doing this has helped me notice with speed and accuracy when people are or are not centered). I noticed that at the beginning there were marked differences in how aware people were of being centered. Some of us were able to center ourselves pretty accurately and other people needed more assistance. I imagine this was because they had to acquire the information needed so that they could then us it to center themselves correctly. By the end of the session we were more similar in our ability to know when we centered and able to center ourselves with speed and accuracy. I had previously been taught about being centered by a Chinese artist who explained to me that one could not paint well unless one was centered, by a friend who was a black belt, from a healer friend, when I learned Sally Swift's centered riding system and through Paul McKenna's 'Holding one point' technique which has its roots in Aikido. More information before -
Sally Swift founder of Centered Riding Instructor Levels Sally Swift Centered Riding Clinics Clinicians Information Level 1 2 3 4 Upgrading Requirements Find a CR Teacher Coach

YouTube - paulmckennatraining's Channel
Paul McKenna - I CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE - Programme 7 see 39:17.

I am wondering about a few things

what are other people experience of learning 'centering' ?
how would somebody know if they are not centered?
what is a good way to learn?
can you learn on your own?
can you be centered all the time?
can anyone describe how it feels when one is centered?

Why has Bandler embraced choices that lead to him being labelled a wildcard and badboy while Grinder prefers an approach that leans to academic rigour and physical prowess?

Given that the field of NLP is in large part about communication style, are those differences character-based and incidental or do they point to profound distinctions in method and intention?

Is it really the case the Bandler learned how to capture attention from comedians, making for a populist approach? And what are the advantages of Grinder's live style, which can come across more academic in tone?

There are at least two ways to approach responding to these questions. One involves challenging my presuppositions and asking me for evidence, and is not what I'm looking for here: I apologise in advance for not responding in this thread to queries of that nature. Another way is to take my questions in good faith, even if they're not perfectly formed, and answer from that perspective. And if we can do that without it turning into a Bandler v Grinder bitchfest, so much the better: I have read, trained with and learned from both men.

Hello,

Does anyone know a good technique for reducing someon else's worry without them knowing I'm ''doing NLP'' on them? A friend of mine is in a state of anxiety and worry, and I'd like to give them some techniques to be calmer and to stop the worry.

Its difficult because she's not the kind of person who responds to things like visualisation and submodalities, or understanding the positive intention of worry. Any ideas would be appreciated?

Thanks

Warning: I may ask follow up questions to repliers that may or may not sound like challenges, but my primary goal is to understand. Feel free to challenge me as well.

Not taking rape, coercion, or slipping in some pill into consideration which don't count as seduction anyway, I believe that from a man's point of view it is unethical to make a promise and break it and leave a child with a woman and run off.

Other than that, I think it's all fair game. Basically if a woman is actively pursuing or being open to an intimate relationship with me without me lying to her, then I don't see anything wrong with that.

I am confused by some people's negative reactions to men who "use hypnosis" or "NLP tactics" on women. Maybe your definition of hypnosis and NLP is very different from mine.

Isn't dressing well, speaking well, being confident, having great body language and touching, etc forms of hypnotizing people too? Can't establishing rapport, reframing, embedded suggestions, etc be done in ethical ways?

If you agree with the above, then I think it becomes a matter of what you think is ethical use of hypnosis/NLP.

Did Mr and Mrs Stryder really call their son Tinchy?

Does Tim Westwood still talk like that when he talks to his dad, the bishop?

Now that he's 60, do you suppose Lemmy's hair is really black, or that maybe he's using products?

When it comes to making music, what you look like makes all the difference. Ever since Elvis appeared in concerts to pre-arranged teenybopper screams, image has been a huge part of the business of music.

On one hand we have pop. Choreography and grooming are a big part of how acts are sold to young consumers. And then there's...well, let's just say 'serious' music, since it encompasses rock, jazz, country, classical and world artists. Stubble indicates maturity, at least on men. Authenticity is indicated by black and white photography.

All of this is semiotics -- and maybe there's room for a discussion on NLP and semiotics to be had at another point, if not now, since it encompasses a lot to do with communication and anchoring. What pulled you in to an act when you were younger? What do you continue to fall for now? Or is your version of authenticity the real thing?

Exhibit 1: When shown the picture below, adults tend to say that it is an erotic image, while children tend to see dolphins.




Exhibit 2: In the picture below, the two tables are the exact same size. I assure you. You can even measure it for yourself to make sure. Now, even if you do all that, do you see them as the same?




In exhibit 1, it seems that our model of the world heavily influences our perception. Yet in exhibit 2, no matter what we believe, our perception does not change.


Edit: Adding on, I wonder if you could train yourself to see those tables as the same? I wonder if a hypnotist could hypnotize someone to see those tables as the same? Wondering about the possibility, besides the fact that it might be useful for us to see them as different.

How do you deal with grudges?

Have you noticed that when you have had it with someone in one discussion, from that very day his shadow follows you and you find any topic or contribution of yours almost inmediately followed by the grudgers post, dismising the topic, making fun, or confronting your opinion with little value, only for the sake of noise and boicott?

How do you shake em off your leg?

Is a grudger forever, like diamonds?

Hello everybody,

I am really happy that I found this place. I am new in NLP, and have little experience. I am 20 years old, studying international business and management in Holland. I am specializing Marketing and more specific Brand Experience marketing. Interested also in cigars, car audio and home audio systems, American Pitbull terrier, fishing, and some sports like kick boxing and judo.

Thanks to a good friend of mine I found this place, where I hope to learn more about NLP and how to use it in my personal life and my career as marketeer. This is what i can say for now, if somebody is interested to understand more about me, feel free to ask me.......

So, I got mugged last night. Six or so drunken guys took exception to my hat and removed it, which I can accept as horseplay, but then one of them decided to take things further. He punched me in the face and tried to steal the contents of an open jacket pocket, which included my mobile phone. He didn't get that, but did get a raffle ticket that could win him a free session of cranio-sacral therapy.

Thing was, even as it happened I was pretty much calm. I spoke to the police as soon as I turned the corner on the asshats, and they got some cops out to find the culprits, but no joy. And then went home, and slept just fine.

Speaking to my girlfriend on the phone this morning, I mentioned what had happened in a low key way, and she took it in a similarly non-alarmist fashion. And in the ensuing conversation heard myself saying that yesterday was a good day.

And it was. I had lunch with a good friend I'd not seen in too long, and had my runes read as recounted on another thread (no points for saying that the runes didn't predict the attack). And if someone was going to be attacked, better it was me with resources to deal with it than some frightened pensioner.

All of which is to say, I'm convinced this little episode demonstrates the effectiveness of the training I've had in state management and framing. What incidents have you come across that have revealed to you how embedded NLP has become within you? What has surprised you about your reactions to the unexpected? And has that made you assess yourself differently in the light of experience?

I've started listening to a DHE course. One of the early exercises in the course is about vividly hallucinating crosshairs. Like, hallucinating that there's actually a pair of crosshairs on the wall in such a way that you can't tell that there's not really a pair of crosshairs on the wall.

Just considering doing this raises in me a massive ecological objection: if you start doing that, what is there left to differentiate between fantasy and reality? What is there to keep you from becoming a full-blown schizophrenic?

More to the point, it seems that the near-universal inability of humans to do that kind of thing by default is probably in place for that very reason. It's for a similar reason, I assume, that we tend to experience massive amnesia about our dreams: keeping that split between fantasy and reality is extremely important to one's sanity (to say nothing of things like driving safety).

I considered going half-way and partially hallucinating things--you know, that half-translucent things. That seems more useful, anyway. Why are you going to want to hallucinate things that occlude your vision?

So anyway, I'm curious: Has anyone here taken the plunge? Hell, has anyone here even managed to do it at all?