Hi all,

I have a strange question; prehaps something that is not going to be possible as it may defy the possibilites of NLP, however, here's to hoping.

I have been in a relationship with a girl 5 years younger than me for 3 years - I am 25, she is 20 it is at a point in a relationship where I think it is in our best interests to go our own ways, she has her future planned out with me and talks as if we will be togther for ever (she moved in with me 2 years ago....)...and I would like to position the break up in away that she can see taht it is going to be for the best and in someway lessen the pain for her.

here is a run down:
We met when she was 17 and got togehter just before her 18th bday, she was from Sydney (a city in a different state than us) but living in Brisbane with her mum while she studied and was planning on going back to sydney - until we met and she decided to stay here with me, we moved in together, she doesnt like Brisbane and has very few of her own friends here...but plenty of friends in sydney and not to mention family.

I have a successful business and am starting another one now with a view of expanding my first business into a different state in the next 5 months....so I really need to focus on my work and personal development and as much as I do love her, I dont feel I am ready to commit myself to a long term relationship.

So, I've pretty much made the decision that I need to end it and given I have learnt enough about NLP to use in a business sense I was wondering if anyone could give me pointers on how (or if) I could use NLP to help her come to the relisation she would be better off back in sydney without me and that life wont be so bad without me....

its a long shot...but worth a try.

this sucks.

Hi all,

I have a strange question; prehaps something that is not going to be possible as it may defy the possibilites of NLP, however, here's to hoping.

I have been in a relationship with a girl 5 years younger than me for 3 years - I am 25, she is 20 it is at a point in a relationship where I think it is in our best interests to go our own ways, she has her future planned out with me and talks as if we will be togther for ever (she moved in with me 2 years ago....)...and I would like to position the break up in away that she can see taht it is going to be for the best and in someway lessen the pain for her.

here is a run down:
We met when she was 17 and got togehter just before her 18th bday, she was from Sydney (a city in a different state than us) but living in Brisbane with her mum while she studied and was planning on going back to sydney - until we met and she decided to stay here with me, we moved in together, she doesnt like Brisbane and has very few of her own friends here...but plenty of friends in sydney and not to mention family.

I have a successful business and am starting another one now with a view of expanding my first business into a different state in the next 5 months....so I really need to focus on my work and personal development and as much as I do love her, I dont feel I am ready to commit myself to a long term relationship.

So, I've pretty much made the decision that I need to end it and given I have learnt enough about NLP to use in a business sense I was wondering if anyone could give me pointers on how (or if) I could use NLP to help her come to the relisation she would be better off back in sydney without me and that life wont be so bad without me....

its a long shot...but worth a try.

this sucks.

Nadia Harper has over 20 years of combined experience in Personal Empowerment Training, Energy Healing work, Communication, Social Media, Influence and Persuasion, Negotiation, Sales and Customer service Training, Peak performance, Intuitive Coaching, Business Consulting, Mentoring, NLP, Hypnosis, Neuroscience, Philosophy and more.



You can download the podcast from the following link:

http://nlp-expert.co.uk/personal-development/nadia.mp3

(Please allow up to 2 minutes for the file to download)

Hi
I have a new client who is a hypochondriac, his doctor has told him that there is nothing wrong physically with him after doing tests. He has put him on Lexipro to relax him. He is now convinced he has swine flu.....what nlp techniques would you use with this client?
I am a trained Master NLP Practitioner and have some ideas on what to work with but just wondered if there are any insights you might have here?

Yvonne

Hi
I have a new client who is a hypochondriac, his doctor has told him that there is nothing wrong physically with him after doing tests. He has put him on Lexipro to relax him. He is now convinced he has swine flu.....what nlp techniques would you use with this client?
I am a trained Master NLP Practitioner and have some ideas on what to work with but just wondered if there are any insights you might have here?

Yvonne

Hi folks - there will be some of you out there that I already know and some that I have yet to meet - I hope you will all take the time to get in touch.

I picked up the flyer for nlp connections at Richard Bandler's evening in Euston yesterday. I'm an NLP Practitioner and completed that course and my Diploma with Roger and Emily Terry at Evolution Training near Chichester, West Sussex.

As a professional trainer myself, I must say that this company provides some of the most professional training I have ever experienced. Highly recommended.

I am a time served (30 years) police officer, and have been working as a conflict management trainer on government contracts, and or the nhs, court officers and the security industry since I retired at the end of 2000. I discovered NLP through a work colleague about 5 years ago and have been attending courses and improving my knowledge through reading ever since. I wish I had had the benefit of the knowledge and practical skills I now possess when I was still in the police service.

NLP has literally turned my life and my fortunes around by the way I have been able to change and develop myself. I am sure that I share this experience with many of you and I look forward to hearing from anyone and everyone!!

Hi everyone

Thanks to Mark Sherwood for the heads up on this through facebook.

Richard seems to come over really well imo, def worth a listen.

BBC iPlayer - Simon Mayo: 29/04/2009


About 1.06 mins in.

Lenny

Hi everyone

Thanks to Mark Sherwood for the heads up on this through facebook.

Richard seems to come over really well imo, def worth a listen.

BBC iPlayer - Simon Mayo: 29/04/2009


About 1.06 mins in.

Lenny

The Concept - How it came about

The idea for Behavioural Crosswiring came whilst I was doing some research into the T.O.T.E model (Test, Operate, Test, Exit [George A. Miller, Eugene Galanter, and Karl H. Pribram - Plans and the Structure of Behavior 1960 - ISBN 978-0937431009]) and more specifically the idea of nested TOTEs.

Whilst I began thinking about the structure of the TOTE model and how it applies to human behaviour, I called upon my experience as a computer programmer and began thinking about the TOTE loop in the same way I’d think about other iterative processes when writing computer programs. At first I began thinking about how a result from one TOTE could also be the initial Test for a second TOTE and thus an overlapping of TOTEs would be achieved.

A basic example of overlapping TOTEs in a behavioural context could be opening a door and walking through.
TOTE 1 (opening the door) can be structured as follows:

[is the door shut?] - yes - [reach out][grab the handle][turn the handle][pull the door open] - [is the door shut?] - no - exit.

TOTE 2 can be structured as follows:

[is the door open?] - yes - [walk through] - [Did I succeed in walking through?] - yes - exit.

This is a very basic example of two large chunk TOTEs yet you can already see the correlation between opening the door and walking through. The overlapping of these two TOTEs comes when you realise that human beings don’t simply forget the results from one TOTE before moving onto the next, they somehow remember that the door was just opened and operate according to that knowledge.

This leads into the idea that the result from the first TOTE (or some result being returned other than the pure intention of the TOTE) can be stored in some universally accessible variable which can then be used in the second TOTE. This would looks as follows using our example above:

bool IsDoorOpen (create a Boolean (yes/no, on/off, true/false) variable to store the value of true/false as to whether the door is open)

TOTE 1 : [is the door shut] - yes - [reach out and open the door, set IsDoorOpen to true] - [Is the door closed?] - no - exit.

TOTE 2: [IsDoorOpen = true?] - yes - [walk through] - [I did succeed in walking through] - yes - exit.

Here you can see the overlap between the result of the first TOTE setting the variable IsDoorOpen to true, and the usage of that variable in the second TOTE as the initial Test. As I say, this is a very basic example and while other operations would also be running simultaneously, this gives us a clear way of identifying the possibility of TOTE overlap.

While I was thinking about this idea of using variables in order to overlap TOTEs, and as I was also thinking about the concept of nested TOTEs at the same time, I started to wonder whether some TOTEs also use variables in order to determine exit point. That is, setting some variable in the operation phase which is later used in the final Test to decide whether it’s time to exist the strategy or not.

This could work as follows:

bool isDoorOpen (create a Boolean variable to store the value of true/false as to whether the door is open)

TOTE 1: [is the door shut?] - yes - [reach out and open the door, set IsDoorOpen to true] - [isDoorOpen = false?] - no - exit.

The result here is that the second Test in the TOTE is dependant on the variable IsDoorOpen and the value that’s assigned too it. This means that the exiting of the strategy (or TOTE) is accomplished based on the result of some operation and the setting of the IsDoorOpen variable. What caught my interest here is the question “What’s setting the variable that’s later used to exit the strategy and can it be hacked by some other process”.

Cross Wiring TOTEs

The concept of cross wiring TOTEs came from the question above and the concept of nesting TOTEs. It struck me that if the final Test in the TOTE is dependant on some variable being set to some certain value (like true or false) then it must be possible to set that variable inside the operation phase by nesting in a new TOTE which also has access to the variable in question. A basic example of this can be see using the behavioural process of depression.


Basic TOTE for depression:

bool isFeelingAcheived (set a variable to determine whether the feeling(s) have been achieved)


TOTE: [isFeelingAcheived = false?] - yes - [while isFeelingAcheived = false; do something to create depression and set isFeelingAcheived to true] - [isFeelingAcheived = true?] - exit.

In order to crosswire this TOTE into something new we also need a new TOTE that achieves our desired result. As an example of this we can use something like joy (another nominalisation) to crosswire the original TOTE into exiting.


The basic idea is to nest the desired TOTE inside the operation phase of the original TOTE and have it short circuit the process by setting the variable used in the Test phase and thus exiting the strategy. Since the original TOTE is operating inside of a WHILE loop we should be able to exit the current loop and have the strategy re-check the WHILE condition which will now be set to a condition that allows the strategy to exit.

This would looks as follows:

TOTE: [isFeelingAcheived = false?] - yes - [while isFeelingAcheived = false; TOTE: ([isFeelingAcheived = false?] - yes - [while isFeelingAcheived = false; do something to create Joy, set isFeelingAcheived to true, end while]) if isFeelingAchieved = false do something to create depression and set isFeelingAcheived to true] - [isFeelingAcheived = true?] - exit.

This would then create a scenario that fulfils the criteria of the original TOTE loop however instead of the person completing the operation phase of the depression state, they’d instead complete the phase up-to the point of creating the joy state, fulfilling the criterion of the conditional WHILE loop and then exit the strategy.

The idea so far is still preliminary and much testing is still required. I have some ideas on the installation of this process both consciously and unconsciously and I’ll write those ideas up once more testing has been done.
I’d love to get your input and ideas on this so please leave a comment with ideas, experiences or simply just some ramblings

Source: Behavioural Crosswiring | Jamie Dixon

The Concept - How it came about

The idea for Behavioural Crosswiring came whilst I was doing some research into the T.O.T.E model (Test, Operate, Test, Exit [George A. Miller, Eugene Galanter, and Karl H. Pribram - Plans and the Structure of Behavior 1960 - ISBN 978-0937431009]) and more specifically the idea of nested TOTEs.

Whilst I began thinking about the structure of the TOTE model and how it applies to human behaviour, I called upon my experience as a computer programmer and began thinking about the TOTE loop in the same way I’d think about other iterative processes when writing computer programs. At first I began thinking about how a result from one TOTE could also be the initial Test for a second TOTE and thus an overlapping of TOTEs would be achieved.

A basic example of overlapping TOTEs in a behavioural context could be opening a door and walking through.
TOTE 1 (opening the door) can be structured as follows:

[is the door shut?] - yes - [reach out][grab the handle][turn the handle][pull the door open] - [is the door shut?] - no - exit.

TOTE 2 can be structured as follows:

[is the door open?] - yes - [walk through] - [Did I succeed in walking through?] - yes - exit.

This is a very basic example of two large chunk TOTEs yet you can already see the correlation between opening the door and walking through. The overlapping of these two TOTEs comes when you realise that human beings don’t simply forget the results from one TOTE before moving onto the next, they somehow remember that the door was just opened and operate according to that knowledge.

This leads into the idea that the result from the first TOTE (or some result being returned other than the pure intention of the TOTE) can be stored in some universally accessible variable which can then be used in the second TOTE. This would looks as follows using our example above:

bool IsDoorOpen (create a Boolean (yes/no, on/off, true/false) variable to store the value of true/false as to whether the door is open)

TOTE 1 : [is the door shut] - yes - [reach out and open the door, set IsDoorOpen to true] - [Is the door closed?] - no - exit.

TOTE 2: [IsDoorOpen = true?] - yes - [walk through] - [I did succeed in walking through] - yes - exit.

Here you can see the overlap between the result of the first TOTE setting the variable IsDoorOpen to true, and the usage of that variable in the second TOTE as the initial Test. As I say, this is a very basic example and while other operations would also be running simultaneously, this gives us a clear way of identifying the possibility of TOTE overlap.

While I was thinking about this idea of using variables in order to overlap TOTEs, and as I was also thinking about the concept of nested TOTEs at the same time, I started to wonder whether some TOTEs also use variables in order to determine exit point. That is, setting some variable in the operation phase which is later used in the final Test to decide whether it’s time to exist the strategy or not.

This could work as follows:

bool isDoorOpen (create a Boolean variable to store the value of true/false as to whether the door is open)

TOTE 1: [is the door shut?] - yes - [reach out and open the door, set IsDoorOpen to true] - [isDoorOpen = false?] - no - exit.

The result here is that the second Test in the TOTE is dependant on the variable IsDoorOpen and the value that’s assigned too it. This means that the exiting of the strategy (or TOTE) is accomplished based on the result of some operation and the setting of the IsDoorOpen variable. What caught my interest here is the question “What’s setting the variable that’s later used to exit the strategy and can it be hacked by some other process”.

Cross Wiring TOTEs

The concept of cross wiring TOTEs came from the question above and the concept of nesting TOTEs. It struck me that if the final Test in the TOTE is dependant on some variable being set to some certain value (like true or false) then it must be possible to set that variable inside the operation phase by nesting in a new TOTE which also has access to the variable in question. A basic example of this can be see using the behavioural process of depression.


Basic TOTE for depression:

bool isFeelingAcheived (set a variable to determine whether the feeling(s) have been achieved)


TOTE: [isFeelingAcheived = false?] - yes - [while isFeelingAcheived = false; do something to create depression and set isFeelingAcheived to true] - [isFeelingAcheived = true?] - exit.

In order to crosswire this TOTE into something new we also need a new TOTE that achieves our desired result. As an example of this we can use something like joy (another nominalisation) to crosswire the original TOTE into exiting.


The basic idea is to nest the desired TOTE inside the operation phase of the original TOTE and have it short circuit the process by setting the variable used in the Test phase and thus exiting the strategy. Since the original TOTE is operating inside of a WHILE loop we should be able to exit the current loop and have the strategy re-check the WHILE condition which will now be set to a condition that allows the strategy to exit.

This would looks as follows:

TOTE: [isFeelingAcheived = false?] - yes - [while isFeelingAcheived = false; TOTE: ([isFeelingAcheived = false?] - yes - [while isFeelingAcheived = false; do something to create Joy, set isFeelingAcheived to true, end while]) if isFeelingAchieved = false do something to create depression and set isFeelingAcheived to true] - [isFeelingAcheived = true?] - exit.

This would then create a scenario that fulfils the criteria of the original TOTE loop however instead of the person completing the operation phase of the depression state, they’d instead complete the phase up-to the point of creating the joy state, fulfilling the criterion of the conditional WHILE loop and then exit the strategy.

The idea so far is still preliminary and much testing is still required. I have some ideas on the installation of this process both consciously and unconsciously and I’ll write those ideas up once more testing has been done.
I’d love to get your input and ideas on this so please leave a comment with ideas, experiences or simply just some ramblings

Source: Behavioural Crosswiring | Jamie Dixon

hi im Christine.
i'm from the UK bit cold here at times...
i got this site wrong at first my excuse
im new to this lol...
ive been studying pd and nlp im hoping
i will eventually meet some of the well
known gurus...
my life has pushed me in this direction
id had never have picked this myself.
ive touched on adversity or ive picked it.
or pushed this way...
ive wondered alot why people treat people
the way they do or how people attract this
treatment good/bad indifferent...
CHANGE was another i found hard and wondered
why... i read who moVed my cheese? lol...
i look forward to being introduced to some of uz out
there somewhere c h a n g e again lol... (can i
help it)...
thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts!!!...x

hey all

I'm running a course on saturday on happiness and confidence and filming and audio recording it to make a product...

I have this idea that more therapists should have catchphrases and I'd like to come up with one to sign off my products, videos, mailings with... but it's a bit late at night and I haven't come up with anything good....

Anyone got any neat ideas I could pilfer in return for the ability to tell your friends when I'm world famous that the great Viv Craske sole your catchphrase... (i'm joking here) .... (or am I?)....

Thanks

Viv

hey all

I'm running a course on saturday on happiness and confidence and filming and audio recording it to make a product...

I have this idea that more therapists should have catchphrases and I'd like to come up with one to sign off my products, videos, mailings with... but it's a bit late at night and I haven't come up with anything good....

Anyone got any neat ideas I could pilfer in return for the ability to tell your friends when I'm world famous that the great Viv Craske sole your catchphrase... (i'm joking here) .... (or am I?)....

Thanks

Viv