Metaprograms are useful to become aware of in conversation and these programs are context dependent and it’s worth keeping that in mind as some people have fallen into the trap of classifying and generalising their approach, “They’re a towards” gives you one approach but be aware that these programs are in a constant state of updating. We cannot not learn unconsciously or consciously and so you must remain flexible and keep calibrating, it’s like Ferris Bueller said “Life moves pretty fast – If you don’t stop and look around once in a while you could miss it!”
Life is a constant of change even if it sometimes doesn’t seem that so and one of the ways people hold problems or themselves from achieving is by the “Same shit different day” way of thinking. You may work in the same place geographically but as a student of life and having had many different jobs and roles in life you inherently know that every day is new, no two are the same and you hold the keys to unlocking your potential for that day, this hour, this minute. I’ve heard it said “It’s never too late to start your day over”, and when it comes to metaprograms and other unconscious processes these are in a constant state of updating depending of context, information, group dynamics, to name a few influences.
Think of these things as useful ideas if you notice someone talking in the ways that follow and realise that they can change in an instant. There is no right or wrong way to do this, you don’t need to change a towards into an away from, consider these ways of thinking that can help you utilise the natural processing of an individual of group to help them achieve their goals.
Here are some metaprograms, more to follow over the next week or so.
Motivation direction,
Towards. I want to be healthier so I can enjoy life more
“So, what things will you do when you are enjoying life even more, who’s with you and where are you enjoying this ?”
This statement invites the person to build a more compelling future by building the internal representation to move towards.
Away from. I don’t want to be unhealthy because that would mean allsorts of problems
“Well, you’re going to have to start with that real soon or it’ll be too late for you to do anything about it”
Using this statement at first can seem a little harsh but experience shows that with rapport and a genuine desire to be of help this focuses the person on doing something about the current situation as soon as possible, who likes to be late?
Modal Operators,
Possibility. I can learn to make it happen
“When you’ve learnt how to make it happen what else could you do?
Possibility statements include words like could, can, couldn’t or cant so use them back whenever you remember to.
Necessity. I have to walk the dogs
“It must be nice to have to exercise yourself and I’m curious, what do you get out of it? fresh air? time to think? a good walk?”
OK OK I’m being a bit sneaky here, by using modal operators of necessity here and combining possible other options I’m kind of introducing the possibility that there may be more to the walk that first thought. It’s not so much me trying to change them, it’s more about introducing options, possibilities if you will. Ever had the experience of having to do some thing? the feeling of must can get in the way. Whereas if there are a bunch of reasons to get something done anything is possible. Make sense?
What are some of the things you know you have to do?
Go to work?
Tax the car?
Choose something you have to do…..
Consider this;
How would it be if you choose to go to work because you enjoy the money you earn, because you get paid holidays, because of social interaction, because of the team, because it’s fun?(even if not all the time)
You choose to tax the car so you can go anywhere you like, any time you like, you can collect your wife,husband, partner, kids up after their classes, you can get to your classes, you can do the weekly shop whenever you please.
With something you have to do, begin with “I choose to X because / so I can / Y” choose as many things as you can find that are advantages of the have to and write them down then repeat the sentence “I choose to because , , ,”
How does it seem different?
It can be said that NLP is the art of introducing choice at the unconscious level, this introduction of choice can take a variety of forms, become curious about your choices.
Until next week
Enjoy
Andy
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